Life-changing question for the adult survivor of childhood trauma sitting in a dark room with no idea what to do next:
What’s the biggest difference between those struggling with the overwhelming effects of complex trauma who finally reclaim their lives and those who stay stuck in survival mode indefinitely?
If you guessed that they were way braver than you, you’d be wrong…
If you guessed that they had more time to invest in their recovery, you’d also be wrong…
And if you guessed that were younger than you, you’d also be wrong.
Because while courage, dedicated time, and less secondary adult trauma all matter in terms of recovery, these only reinforce something WAY more foundational to Relational Healing.
It is natural to question if the kind of change I am talking about here is possible.
If you’re decades into your adult life, I know you’re thinking “I can’t just drop everything for the sake of recovery."
If you’ve sought help before and felt like you just got multiple versions of “get over it”… I know you may have grown weary of promises of healing.
But here’s the ultimate truth:
There is a reality where…
It has been such a long, long road to even be where you are now.
As a survivor myself, I understand. Truly.
And I so honor what it has taken for you to survive.
But if you’re ready to release your past and explore the peak possibilities of your life potential…
I invite you on a recovery journey of a lifetime.
One where you transcend your limiting beliefs and restore the vital connections broken by trauma while you lead yourself to wholeness, love, and discovery of life’s true beauty. This is radical evolution.
The return of your authentic, True Self.
Intrigued? Read on.
I am not going to promise you a magic bullet. This is a journey of courage.
So I want this to be a moment where you decide to opt in or out.
I’m gathering a select few survivors who are ready to do brave things for true and total transformation.
It means you are done with…
And if so childhood trauma can become your Superpower.
With the right support and right tools, your potential is limitless.
You can surround yourself with a hand-selected inner circle of caring, supportive, and motivated survivors ready to do all it takes to unburden themselves of the effects of trauma.
This is where you come ready to step into your power as a survivor.
The Terrifying Kind of Silence
The kind you wish was filled with solutions, shared understandings, and sympathetic hugs, but instead just feels daunting and hopeless.
You think… “What if I’m so messed up as a person I need to blow everything up in my life and start over from scratch?”
…followed by a YouTube-like montage of what your new life could look like:
Then that picture-perfect vision is interrupted by “All of this pain would just come back. It has been my constant companion for decades.”
Your statement of defeat rooted in your past experiences destroys your brief escape from your current reality.
You remember your kids, your mortgage payment, your pets, your career, and the million other reasons why you want to undertake this healing journey in the first place.
You’re back to square one.
"How do I even begin to overcome this?"
The secret to knowing exactly what to do when you don’t have any clue
You just want to be able to get through one single important conversation without the whole thing falling to pieces in a huge heap of misunderstanding.
You want to know if you should keep investing in your current relationships to make them better, or you if you should “clear house” and start over from scratch.
After so many hours trying to figure out what to do, you feel like you should trust yourself to know how to respond to a triggering text, not have to beg for your partner to stop hanging up the phone on you, or to stop feeling like the most misunderstood human on Planet Earth.
Peaceful and productive interactions shouldn’t be this complicated.
After all you have invested in building the life of your dreams, the desperate moments of deafening silence should be replaced with warm hugs that make everything better, cheerful bookings on Spirit Airlines, and too-loud-laughs over reheated DoorDash.
Three Reasons You’re Still Having Issues
Reason #1: You’re not making the most of the talk therapy you’re already paying for
Talk therapy is only as helpful as the information you provide the therapist about what is going on in your life and the recovery framework they’re using. If you’re presenting with selective memories haphazardly without an organizing framework and plan… what they have to work with is limited, at best, and biased, at worst.
Everyone’s memory is imperfect, but humans recovering from childhood trauma have unique information processing challenges well-documented by research.
If you haven’t recorded details of your day-to-day interactions and taken this data with specific questions to your therapist, then you haven’t maxed out the potential benefit of this investment.
Reason #2: You still don’t know how to manage trauma triggers in real time in real life
You feel like you’re missing some basic piece of knowledge about how to manage the stresses of everyday life without having everything fall completely apart. But if you’re always waiting for some sort of Sah D’Simone kind of breakthrough moment, then guess what? Your life stands still and you’re still stuck and suffering, because there are underlying issues that hold all the answers to what you really need to do. You just haven’t had a method for connecting the dots to get to the root causes of your trauma triggers. With an organizing framework for understanding Attachment Restoration, you reveal hidden-in-plain sight patterns and become your own recovery coach.
Reason #3: You’re only using tools that focus on processing past memories
You’ve been advised to journal at least a million times.
To think about “what this takes us back to,” to write letters to those that hurt us… but if all your energy is focused on processing the past, you cannot intelligently engineer your present-day life to center your health and wellbeing.
Each and every present day moment contains invaluable answers to the questions, “What can I learn from this?” “How can I do better tomorrow?” “Am I making progress?”
Harness the power of the present so that you live out your life’s purpose.
The News That Will Change Everything For You
Knowing How To Recover From Complex Trauma Is Right In Front Of You
If you’ve made it this far, you already know that you’re committed to making your life better and that there must be some way to transform your commitment into something powerful.
And there totally is…
The AR (Attachment Restoration) Method that I’ve spent the past two decades developing has infinite possibilities for complex trauma recovery.
With this revolutionary method, you can…
This is the exact method I used when my own back was against a wall, and my second marriage was on the brink of ending.
I had no idea what to do. In my own moment of desperation, I did what seemed like the only thing left to try — apply what I did every single day as a professor. I wasn’t prepared for the transformative power it would unlock.
Applying the tools of scientific discovery to my own life changed everything. With my Discovery Dataset in hand, I knew exactly what to do.
The energy I spent hopelessly spinning my wheels looking for answers was redirected to confidently target areas for change and specific plans for recovery.
Terror-filled overwhelm transformed into data-guided optimism. And for the first time, I was dreaming bigger than just “get better” and could finally see how all my talent and promise would find fertile ground to create the life of my dreams.
Which is why I am beyond excited to introduce for the very first time ever to a public audience, my brand new 8-week guided program…
A 8-week guided program to launch your Relational Healing Journey — designed exclusively for caring, supportive, and motivated survivors.
The very first offering of the The Relational Healing Lab.
The conscious and truly transformative way for adult survivors of childhood trauma to develop an effective recovery plan.
A never-seen-anything-like-this-before guided program designed by researcher, educator, and survivor Tanner Wallace, PhD. Within minutes of joining, gain game-changing insights into yourself and how childhood trauma is affecting every aspect of your life.
Choose REVEAL when...
Join REVEAL Today
4 Ways REVEAL Will Inspire You To Post Cute #nextchapterbegins Selfies
Curated Collections of Lectures, Lab Manuals, & Signature Assignments
Harness the power of the Attachment Restoration framework for a big-picture view of complex trauma recovery. Master the exact steps of the AR Method including Interaction Tracking. Put your newfound knowledge immediately into action with fast-paced, engaging Signature Assignments. Step-by-step you build your own next-level recovery knowledge base so that you cultivate the courage to do hard things.
1:1 Exploration Intensives
Individual coaching sessions with Tanner amplify every aspect of your Relational Healing Lab experience. Breakthrough limiting beliefs to chart a completely new path towards recovery. Illuminate all the unique aspects of your personal journey to uncover opportunities and challenges. Cultivate confidence so that you achieve your wildest dreams.
High-energy small group discussions maximize your investment. Join other lab members in deep conversation about everything you’re experiencing. Eliminate any confusion about material or assignments. Deepen your connection to other lab members so that you gain more support.
Exclusive LIVE Stream Experiences
Revitalize your social life with these members-only events. Your vibrancy is restored through letting loose a bit and having some much-needed laughs. This is where we practice showing up authentically to build real deal intimacy. Friendships for a lifetime develop here.
Here’s How It All Fits Together In A Single Transformative Experience
A 8-week guided program to launch your Relational Healing Journey — designed exclusively for adult survivors of childhood trauma, REVEAL consists of 3 Phases of Discovery
PHASE 1: RISING TO A HIGHER CONSCIOUSNESS
Your understanding of what is possible expands beyond what you could imagine today.
Guided by Tanner’s research-based approach, you’ll effortlessly expand your understanding about childhood trauma and how relational healing is a powerful tool for trauma recovery.
PHASE 2: ACHIEVING CLARITY
Almost as if you’ve put on glasses with X-ray lenses, you’ll see your relationship with yourself and relationships with others like never before.
With a single, simple data collection tool and your knowledge of the Attachment Restoration Framework, you begin your scientific exploration. Just like a snowflake or a DNA strand, the uniqueness of you is reflected in every data point you collect. Equipped with your own personal Discovery Dataset, this is where your customized Clarity Codebook is presented to you. Now you are really leveling-up in your recovery journey.
PHASE 3: LIVING YOUR TRUTH
Here’s where you connect the dots between your present day trauma triggers and the 9 Elements of Attachment.
And for the first time in your life, you begin to see patterns revealed. These patterns contain everything you need to know to transform your life. You complete your Recovery Guidebook, your customized, data-based recovery road map to fulfilling your greatest potential – the life you’ve always imagined but never thought possible.
Letting Go of The Past: A Guide To The 9 Elements of Attachment That Restore Your True Self
Remove overwhelm with this never-before-released reference resource with in-depth coverage of all 9 Elements of Attachment.
The Five Steps To Join
Made as easy as possible for you.
Replace the negative experience of spinning your wheels with an empowered investment in your future happiness.
Receive Welcome Kit
Within minutes a rush of positivity. From self care tips to Spotify playlists, scheduling help and mindset work, you’ve instantly upped your game.
Experience 1:1 Intensive Exploration
Crush any self-doubt during a 90-minute Intake Exploration with Tanner. Your energy skyrockets as you begin to understand the extent to which transformation is possible.
Join Kick-Off LIVE Stream Experience
Reconfirm your commitment and level-up your energy. The details of your tenure in the Relational Healing Lab are revealed, and you’re assigned your very first Clarity Challenge.
Commence Tenure in Relational Healing Lab
Officially step into the next chapter of your life. Rapid transformation unfolds daily.
Join REVEAL Today
Payment Plans Available
The Crystal Clear Guarantee
I’m so confident in my competence as a guide and the power of the AR Method that I want to make this an easy “yes” for you.
Take 7 days to become acquainted with the lab.
Attend the Kick-Off LIVE Stream Experience, your 1:1 Exploration Intensive, and complete your first set of Signature Assignments, and if you aren’t seeing immediate gains in confidence and clarity…
simply email email@example.com with your completed Signature Assignments and explanation of what isn’t working for you, and we’ll hit “undo” on your payment for the entire cost of REVEAL.
“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Voted “Most Likely To Succeed In High School” You’ve Never Met a Survivor With A Purpose and A Plan Quite Like Me
I’m the data geek with the breakthrough recovery method.
I was where you are now not too long ago.
Despite my graduate degrees and dream professor job, I was confused, overwhelmed and suffering intensely in my personal life from undiagnosed complex trauma.
No matter how many self-help books I read on love languages and non-violent communication, or talk therapy sessions I attended, or meditation apps I downloaded, nothing improved, and in fact, my sense of distress was getting worse by the day.
Then one day, out of desperation, I created an Excel spreadsheet. Something I had done at the start of every single research project, but never to improve my life. I started collecting data on my interactions with my partner, my kids, my co-workers…
Something magical happened.
Instead of just having a bunch of expert knowledge gleaned from books rattling around in my brain, I saw how these things did or didn’t apply to my real life in the real world.
After a few weeks of interaction tracking it became real clear real fast, that all the noticing my emotions in the world couldn’t hold a candle to the powerful tsunami of my trauma-based responses.
It was then I realized that a lot of the mainstream relationship advice I had been consuming just didn’t apply. So I started looking for answers in other places.
And the answers led to me to books on childhood trauma. But those books didn’t tell me what to do in my moment-by-moment life. They explained my symptoms and why I suffered so much in my intimate relationships, but there was no blueprint, no how-to, no “Hey Tanner, these are your next steps.”
So I kept tracking. Kept analyzing. Kept doing my researcher thing.
I created a suite of tools - and most importantly I transformed my book knowledge into real-world wisdom. And I finally knew exactly what to do.
My data explorations revealed hidden-in-plain-sight patterns unique to my life partnership.
It would take two full years of using this data-based Interaction Tracking Method to finally put all the puzzle pieces together to understand that I was suffering from complex PTSD and that my childhood trauma-based fears of “getting abandoned” and “getting in trouble” were influencing every aspect of my life.
A desperate moment of "nothing left to try" resulted in the discovery of a lifetime.
My data-based method transformed my confusion to clarity. And with that clarity a confident plan for relational healing.
I finally started actualizing the very best version of me.
Despite having a full-time professor job and having four kiddos and a partner, I couldn’t imagine keeping all that I’ve learned to myself. No human should have to suffer in ignorance for reasons that are not their fault.
And I needed something more, too. I was restless. I was tired of being an armchair expert disconnected from the struggles of day-to-day life. And I was becoming increasingly dissatisfied with not having the space to show up authentically and share what I was learning about trauma, personal development and relational healing. Truthfully, I was also still hiding behind the shame and loneliness that kept me prisoner to my childhood for decades. And I was ready to have a platform to break free from the prison of my youth.
So in June 2020, I took an incredible leap of faith.
I left my script behind and rejected the status quo to discover the power inside me to transcend all that had been holding me back.
I launched the Relational Healing podcast and opened the Instagram account @drtannerwallace. I started providing honest, straight-talk, no-judgment, research-based trauma-informed relationship and recovery support.
It took years to step into my power as the trusted guide you’ve been waiting for. But I’m here. And without-a-doubt all in.
Are you ready to get started?
PhD, University of California, Los Angeles
MEd, Harvard University
Trauma Support Specialist
Certified Professional Life Coach
I learned I am not alone in my struggles with my relationships and to let go of a lot of fear surrounding that belief."I could not keep going in my life with the coping skills I had in place. I was destroying my marriage and myself. I learned a different way, moving past some shame or embarrassment, making deep connections within myself about how much my childhood trauma affected me as an adult. "
I knew Tanner was the real deal from our very first interaction.“I could not wait to learn from her and with her. I was focused on seeking approval from others, so I constantly vacillated between feeling like I was too much and not enough. Tanner is one of the most authentic people I have ever met. I feel more equipped with skills I need to be more authentic, and therefore cultivate more authentic relationships. ”
Tanner’s approach provides me with a way to organize the feelings that I am having.“This makes it easier for me to set specific goals and strategies for figuring out how to deal with whatever issues I am facing. Tanner has always validated my feelings by always providing examples that express specific reasons why I feel a certain way, sharing the knowledge from her experience and relatable examples, and how that has always impacted the way that I might perceive a situation. I don’t feel alone in my experience, and I realize that I have the skills to recognize and analyze with a broader lens. ”
You want to set the bar higher than symptom management. You want permanent healing.
Unlock the power of scientific discovery to fuel the transformation journey of a lifetime
By now you know that the biggest difference between humans stuck in survival mode and humans that confidently know exactly what they need to change in their life all comes down to…
If you’re tired of investing time in recovery tools that don’t change anything
…Your discontent is growing larger by the day
…You’re actually starting to worry that you’re just not “fixable”
…and you might just be one text message away from giving up on the promise of happily ever after.
BUT you are starting to see that you are overwhelmed by the chaos of complex trauma and revitalized by the promise of clarity through data-based discovery you need to apply to REVEAL ASAP.
If you are committed to liberating yourself from suffering and building a fulfilling, joyful life, I would be honored to be your guide to create the most rewarding and transformative healing experience you’ve had in the past ten years.
TRUTH: About 80% of humans reading this page will read this over and imagine for a brief second their amazing future self. Then they’ll decide they don’t want to invest that much and go back to scrolling their IG feed.
They’ll keep yelling, self-medicating, monitoring their partner for signs of mistrust, stuffing down any ambitions they have for something different and just continue to cope with all crippling effects of unresolved childhood trauma.
TRUE COST: The prime years of their life.
They’ll wake up at 60 years old stressed out and lonely – isolated from the experience of authentic love and connection
TRUE COST: The chance to break an intergenerational cycle of trauma.